NLY Camp 2010

Round two of camp for the summer, praying for a week to remember.


Just started reading the 1st letter to the Corinthians. I'm blown away already two chapters in.


If you control all your emotions it makes you a robot. But if you let your emotions control you you're not you.

Where the Shadows Wait (Song lyrics)

Find in life what's right for you.
Know what feels right isn't always true
Kill yourself and resurrect the older you.
Abandon what you know and take what you will.
Revert into your ashes, become a sick bird again.
These old wings are tired, take another dive for your adrenaline.

Go your own way where the shadows wait...
Everybody learns differently,
But try...
not to...

Tears shed in vain.
But the vanities they prove,
times sure do change.
Why do I feel the same?
Do you even remember your own name?
I only wish that the good would die young.
Although it'd add to the weight of the world,
we rest assured knowing you can't be crushed by it.

Go your own way where the shadows wait...
Everybody learns differently,
But try...
not to...

Calm this anxious mind.
Steady this racing heart of mine.
It took until now to realize nobody's doin fine.
Your immunities didn't serve you 
he bug got right through your system.

These fallow words, are they too lately spoken?

The glimmer in your eyes show you must not be dead!

Reminiscent of that girl is still trapped inside your head!

And she cries...

Free me
Save me
Release me
Can you not see me?

I can see you clear as day
But this is your mirror's play.

First Glimpse of Hope All Summer

I don’t want to pity myself any longer.
What happened to the hope I had for so long?
I started looking for sincere appreciation
in the realms of lust and temptation.
And fantasy of growing up.
Living some carefree life.
Music playing all the time.
Hugs and holding one another close.
Surrounded by the ones I love.
No more alcohol to blur the vision of the beauty around.
Absence of self-consciousness.
Because we’re all beautiful when we turn our old lives over.
Just to live in the unity and love that I could only imagine attainable in Heaven, with God.

Is it selfish to want to die? I just want to get there sooner.

My work is not done, but I lost my to-do list.
Everything I thought I was supposed to do has been taken back for review and development.

I’ll admit I’m being impatient.
I’ll admit I’m not handling things well.
I’ll admit I’ve become ugly again.
I’ll admit that I feel more alone now than ever.
I’ll admit majority of my problems are a matter of selfishness.

So I’ll pray this and try a little harder than I have been. If only I could trust in any person around me to help out. No one ever does.
God’s bigger than them though, and has done more for me now than any person ever has or will.

I’m sinking, I’m drowning, I’m trapped under the crushing deadweight of this apathy. This laziness is infecting my soul, it’s dragging me down to pits of misery. There’s darkness at the end of my tunnel, it’s a dead end, I can’t escape despair. Rescue me. refresh, resurrect. Holy spirit, renew life in me. Lord you are my only hope. I’m going down, I’m sinking fast. At the end of my rope, I know I won’t last. My strength has failed me, got nothing more within to offer so I’m gonna die to this flesh, crucify whatever’s left, the old life passes away.  Nothing to lose, but everything to gain, I offer you this vessel.
-“Escape” by Debtor


The perfect rainy day and no one to spend it with :(