8/21/10

Blurrr

I just got my drivers license. I seriously never thought I would get it. I honestly am now getting scared of trying to figure out where my life is going, although I shouldn't be, I've been promised more of a secure future than anyone else I know.

Having a car makes me paranoid. I know I've only had it for one night but I can't even sleep because of all the leftover stress it has given me. Hence why it's six in the morning and I'm the only one awake.

I don't trust myself with new responsibility because I hold myself to such a high standard of not failing it's ridiculous. 

If I have no responsibility, how can I fail?

I don't take up new challenges or go further ahead in life for one of two reasons:

1. I'm scared of failing.
2. I make myself lazy to cover up the fact that I'm scared.

Yet I claim to be ambitious? Yes, you'll come to know my character is very hypocritical and flawed.

I'm just so happy my God isn't. Otherwise He wouldn't be God.

Then I'd have nothing.

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