But the fact is, I knew him, he took his own life, and now the consistency of his light-hearted demeanor that the students of Lake City High School took for granted is no more.
Sadly, it seems the impact he made is MOST recognized upon his death as opposed to his living, and for the most part lives it now lives vicariously through those he was closest with.
We take for granted every single person who brings us the smallest amount of joy, this is fact.
I say this because of the light he always was in my classes was easily overlooked and now that he's gone from this world, I can say I deeply regret never extending our acquaintance past just that. Acquaintanceship.
Now, this is coming from the guy who wishes he could befriend every person he comes into contact with, but regardless, death causes you to realize how important those around you can be, as well as changes your perspective and attitude on everything.
Appreciate everyone you know, and SHOW it. When it comes to suicide, sometimes a single conversation can change the entire direction a person was going in, at least for a day. It makes you wonder, is a day all Nico needed? Was a near death enough for him to find appreciation for life and everything in it? Unfortunately, the ifs and buts and such aren't valid at this point.
Suicide is selfish, but when you reach the point of consideration of suicide, consideration of your selfishness doesn't really occur. That's just the way things work.
If you ever get to that point, let someone know. Don't keep it a secret, don't sheepishly drop the most subtle of hints, because people are stupid and unaware a lot of the time. Confide in someone, even if it's only for one conversation. You are worth so much. Even more than the deep love your peers have for you. Upon your death, a shockwave of sadness and pain will spread, beyond your family, beyond your friends, to people you thought would never care. The hurt is so great.
Nico, you are loved. You are missed. I've prayed for you before while you lived, now I pray that the grace of God has covered you. Rest in Peace. Though I did not know you well, I will never forget you or your death.