4/24/11

Through Death

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All this leads me nowhere.
Can’t live in hatred of my own existence. 
No reason to care is unreasonable and when reason’s dead, I’m left with nothing at all.  
Though this earth feels desolate, though I make my bed in the pit of hell, 
still your presence, it finds me there.  
You’re nearer to me than I am to myself.  
How can I argue back at you?  
Can breath you grant turn and curse your name?  
All my life never felt at home.  
You’re the only rest I’ve ever known. 

Humility descends like snow.  
I feel my spite melt on my lips.  
All my life never felt at home. 
You’re the only rest I’ve ever known. 

Clamp my hand over my mouth.  
I’ve spoken once, I won’t speak again.  
The more I question you, the more I fight, the more I find I need you just to breathe. 
 I feel the warmth of conviction pour back like iron into my bones.  
And I can’t shake the thought that you bore all the weight of my sin.  
You shared my pain.  
Every finger I point points right back at me.
  
Humility descends like snow, and I feel my spite melt on my lips.  
All my life never felt at home.  
You’re the only rest I’ve ever known. 

I know this life is yours forever, but will you be there when emptiness returns?  
Will I stand firm? 
 In the flame of suffering, in the night of doubt, when the steel of hate slides through these ribs...
Will the sting of death be numb?  
Seeing nothing all around, I turn my eyes to heaven.  
Searched this earth for a shred of light.  
I turn my eyes to heaven. 

I’ll follow you through 
Death 
It-
Self.....

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