6/21/11

My Dreams and Obsessions

I find when my mind is most open and my body is much at rest when important matters come up.

I've also been having some frustrating and confusing dreams.
I'll start with those, I think.




Besides the bizarre types of dreams everyone has- like being the sole witness to an elementary school bombing committed by children- I've found my dreams to be emotionally taxing as of late...




I've been having dreams where I sleep through work (which is terrifying to wake up to when you actually DO need to go to work).
I've also been having those short dreams where all you get are pictures and emotions and maybe a message or two, but nothing quite descriptive or complete.

All of those short ones have been towards people rejecting me or leaving my life.
I believe they reflect my reality as well, or at least my reality a couple months ago.
But at the same time, I think they still apply to today.
But not just to me.
To God.

Nearly ALL the believers I shared communion with last year have abandoned the path they held so dearly.
To Mormonism.
To Others.
To Self.
To Doubt.
To Bitterness.
To Depression.
To the Alternatives of the World.

The Demon of Depravity has left me in frustration and sought out to spread the seed of violent hopelessness upon those around me.
And I'm still chained up by my own fallacies that I just can't seem to turn over to the Resolver of my life.

I am stubborn and a fool.

But You, who holds true wisdom, wait with patience I cannot even conceive.
I need You to open the eyes of my heart,
For I am blind through the spectacles of my own craft.

It is a necessity for survival to see life for the warfare it truly is.
If I don't face the reality that I will fall without ground beneath me,
I will forsake the dirt
And fade to fire.





From a top down view:
A group of faceless individuals all lined up by the riverside.
One by one they fell into the water, taking each step consciously.
When all their bodies were wet,
The water turned to fire and consumed them all.

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