12/16/11

Living Day by Day

My heart goes out to Andy of A Plea for Purging for this song, I don't know just how broken it is to feel this way, but the sympathy for the broken-hearted that is delivered by this song is something that keeps me going.






In the winter of 2010, 
I lost my mother to the barrel of her loaded gun.
Two weeks later my forgotten dad lost the battle of his life long suicidal run.

He was dead to me years ago, 
but losing her was an eternal blow.
I've spoke in the past of the broken, 
but now I really know.

If there's one thing I've learned, 
we're all put here to die.

So why jump your turn?

I'm living day by day.
There's strange comfort in apathy.

Lay cold and alone in the ground.
Will it be paradise or will you burn.
This is all a gamble until it's your turn.

He was dead to me years ago, 
but losing her was an eternal blow.
I've spoke in the past of the broken, but now I really know.

There's strange comfort in apathy.

Home is where the broken heart is.

Son to none. 
No home but the roads I roam.

Home is where the broken heart is.
We're all brokenhearted.






I've always heard that when life overwhelms you that it's a good idea to just take one day at a time.
It's apparent that's not good enough, considering the unending criticism.
Living day by day is like running in "last resort mode."
I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

Yes, there's strange comfort in apathy.
But it does not sustain, it leaves me empty.








I'm sinking, I'm drowning, 
I'm trapped under the crushing deadweight of this apathy. 
This laziness is infecting my soul, 
It's dragging me down to pits of misery. 
There's darkness at the end of my tunnel, 
It's a dead end, I can't escape despair. 
Rescue me. 
Refresh, resurrect. 
Holy Spirit, renew life in me. 
Lord you are my only hope. 
I'm going down, I'm sinking fast. 
At the end of my rope, I know I won't last. 
My strength has failed me, 
Got nothing more within to offer so I'm gonna die to this flesh, 
Crucify whatever's left, 
The old life passes away. 
Nothing to lose, but everything to gain, 
I offer you this vessel.










Day by day,
I will Attack Apathy.
In that assault,
I must lose myself.

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