5/31/11

Philosophy is Dead if Truth is Relative

Instead of only seeking out questions, consider your answers.

Otherwise you'll be damned into an endless swirl of undefined living.

Nihilists use circular reasoning and refuse to belief there is definition when it is so clear, so attainable.

They damn themselves through closed thinking that everything in life is impossible because it is.

But it's not.

Yeah, they're thinking really does not validate on any level except justifying their dissatisfaction with life.

But even then, no justice is being done.
Pointing out logical fallacies is a guilty pleasure of mine.

Absolutely love establishing truth.
"Are you guys really together?"


I will never be together with anyone :P


"Oh. You say that now..."


Lol maybe when I'm old :P


"It'll happen, you gotta take a chance or else you'll get nowhere in life."


Nah, I can be safe where I am :P


"But are you truly happy[?]"


Happier than when I was before I became obsessed with a girl who didn't like me for over a year


"I see. Well that's all that matters. Just remember you're never alone, and that your life is waiting for you."










It's conversations like these I despise.

DEVIL DISAPPEAR!

5/30/11

For the Sake of Doing What I Say I'll Do






You distance yourself
Revel in worldly wealth
Apparitions of the past come to me
And sing to you this plea
"I curse the person that I've become.
Do you know not what you've done?
A titan has fallen,
Is all lost?
In those around you...
I'm a ghost.






I'm not forgotten






A haunting memory.
A cruel irony.

Satan's laughing at me


As I play into this blasphemy.

5/29/11

Brenna Dunn

is
a
professional.


You were a song I couldn't sing
caught like a bear by the bees with its hand in the hive
who complains of the pain of the sting
when I'm lucky I got out alive!a life at best left half behind,
the taste of the honey still sweet on my tongue
and I'd run (Lord knows I've tried)
but there's no place on Earth I can hide
from the wrong I've done

then I saw a mountain and I saw a city
steadily sinking but suspiciously calm
it wasn't an end, it wasn't a beginning
but a ceaseless stumbling on
there, strapped like a watch on my wrist
that's finished with gold but can't tell the time
was all or what little pleasure exists
seductively sold and uselessly mine

our horse was fast and first from the gate
with the lead of a length at the sound of the gun
and the last of our cash laid down to fate (at 17 to 1)
but by the final stretch in the rear of the pack
that nag limping bad in the back
we reluctantly gave all the money we'd saved,
a fifth to the commonwealth and the rest to the track
then I saw a forest grow in the city
& a driftwood wall of birdhouse gourds
and I'm still waiting to meet a girl like my Mom
who's closer to my age

the true light of my eyes is a Pearl
equally emptied to equally shine
and all or what little joy in the world
seemed suddenly simple and endlessly mine

I was once the wine and you were the wineglass,
I was once alive when you held me,
but God became the glass,
all things left are emptiness
but oh, you're just a little girl
if you look out and see a trace
of a dark red that was once my face
in the clarity of such grace,
you'll forget all about me

5/28/11

Deep breath taken:
Get through what's required until I have enough time to chip away at my productivity.

Just chill, Fallon.

I really should just keep all my thoughts to myself.
I check this every day with the hope of some type of feedback, something to grow and learn from.
Despite the release I feel through expression, I feel like there's so much lacking.

This Blog

Is the only thing I am proud of.

Everything else I've made is immature, unfinished, forgotten, or unappreciated.

True art communicates with the utmost sincerity and clarity.
That's all this blog is.
I don't hide a thing.
If you know this well enough, you probably know me well enough.
Congrats, Maren :P

5/27/11

The Final Final LAN

*Insert Attention Grabbing Picture Here*

As part of the Lake City Game Creator tradition, every year we have a Final LAN (LAN stands for Local Area Network, and is commonly associated with video game events set up on a LAN. Because that's so complicated to explain we just call them LANs) to celebrate the end of the school year and as a farewell to the seniors in the club who will be moving on to the rest of their lives.

This Final LAN is probably the last one LCGC will have, and LCGC may come to an end after next year.

As these seniors leave the club, so also leaves the last productive generation of LCGC, thus leaving me the only senior to be in the club next year, with the underclassmen only contributing fragments of projects, never striving to make something more than what could be forgotten a day later.

J and I agree that this may be the beginning of the end. He and I will be working on a project of our own, hoping to recruit an artist or two. We want the end of GC to be one on a high note, a polished, professional, rich game. One that we can both be proud of.

Just an insight on what some may consider a small part of my life.
Truth be told it's a bit more than that.

5/25/11

I had a vision that a girl and i were kissing, and while we were she stabbed me.
After that the scene restarted and I stabbed myself.

I find this vision entirely accurate and biblical.

5 months and 24 days I have abstained from physical intimacy.
Let's make it 6 months and 6 days more, at the very least.

5/23/11

Some of the most repulsive things my eyes ever come across are when people talk about/are doing/praising:

Intoxication of any kind (i.e. drunk, stoned, high, etc.)
Smoking
Arrogance
Secrets (or lying in general)
Guys that take advantage of girls
Girls that make the saying "Nice guys finish last" a reality
Flaunting anything sexually provocative (behavior, pictures, dressing, etc.)
Hiding from uncomfortable subjects
Refusing to take any sort of blame upon oneself
Cynical humor
People who know what's best for them and don't even struggle choosing the polar opposite (especially with girls)
People who call me friend but refuse to find out who I really am
People who know who I really am and neglect the bond we have
Those who claim one name but serve another.

5/22/11

Judgement Day was a Very Good Catalyst

God works in very interesting ways.

Thanks to Alan (of Debtor), I found this website that explains A LOT about the Bible and questions that come with Christian faith (i.e. Differences between Mormonism and Christianity, Suicide, Hell, Angels, Sexuality, etc.) It covers a TON of ground, all the while showing scripture to back up every claim!

I LOVE SUPPORTING MATERIAL!

http://raptureready.com/faq

Serious kudos to this site for being so dedicated to detail, while not killing me with words and keeping things simple.

5/21/11

Those nights where you're tired enough to sleep, but alive enough to think till 3.
Open your mind up to flood your heart out.
Subject your life to rate and review, regret and resonance.
Blessed breath, subjected sin.
Indignant to what you did not do.

5/18/11

I JUST BEAT SONIC 2!


I've wanted to beat this game since I was 5 or 6. I finally did it at 17, as KNUCKLES!

I feel VERY accomplished.

5/15/11

60 days, and you still don't have a clue.
60 days, and life is no different to you.

60 Days.

OUT WITH POETIC PITY!

I glance at that face and I am disgusted.
I hear that name and am only curious out of spite.
I am near you and only associate with you to confirm and justify your prolonged absence,
Your arranged departure,
From my life.

I am both amazed and appalled that regrets are unheard of.

The only reason I don't miss you.
Is because you've forgotten me.

I really do miss the person that you were.
But now you're dead to me.
And all the mourning that was once prepared has been burned away.

Bitter is all that is left.
The only reason I could feel any source of remorse is through wishful thinking.
Wishing, thinking, maybe you do still care.

Maybe you miss me...

But you've abandoned the affinity I built.
Rejected my love,
Rejected my open palms and open arms again and again and again and-

"Now something has kept me here too long-








And now I'm gone."






                                                                                                                                                                 .

5/14/11

Pass the Chips!


This is like a boy getting his first ELECTRIC guitar after playing on his old acoustic First Act wishing for something better.

5/13/11

Complain All You Want

Spite all you will.
Brood and gossip without end.

You only prove my doubts within them.

My reasons to distrust are rooting deeper into the soil that is my heart.
The roots are not thickened with poisonous bitterness, but thickened with and from awareness.

But I still don't know if Distrust is a malicious weed or a fruitful tree.

How will I ever meet mutuality with any part of humanity without compromising my integrity?

5/9/11

Stick to my guns:
Question everyone,
Question everything,
Never trust the hands of man.

Nothing will change that, I refuse deception.

5/8/11

Patient, Relentless Endurance.

I want to rename my blog that, but it's essentially the same thing.

My First Chiptune

Has been uploaded onto Facebook!

It's a cover of Depeche Mode's "Enjoy the Silence"

Check it: 

5/5/11

"I question your loyalty...

"SHED YOUR SKIN!
YOU WERE NEVER

ONE

OF

US.

I

WILL NEVER TRUST

THE HANDS
OF
MAN

NEVER
TRUST
AGAIN."

5/3/11

2011

Looking Back and Giving In.
Letting Go and Losing Old.
Moving On and Growing Up.

5/1/11

Amidst Fits of Hopelessness

I was blinded to my blessings.

Followers