The Word says not to let the Sun go down on your anger.

What of sadness?


The Paradox of Paranoia Induced Pursuit (Consumed)

The dots on the wall become bugs; crawl.Your second skin implores you to buy in.
Allow the separation of sanity to fall,
Like the rain of grace, with razors instead of peace.
The vociferous outward expression;
Expulsion of your need for relief will win within.
A point of ridicule, that trivial, embarrassing decision

Will give you everything.

Yet there will always be a hunger for the increase of heart beats,
A thirst for shakiness in your breathing,
Lust to scream in all of your thinking,
Demonic desire residing on your closed eyes and in the corners of glass and light-less seeing.

Only when they chase have they preyed.


Life is so Weird

It's amazing how I've noticed myself acting these days.
Recording complete strangers and ignoring my long-time musical friends.
Using the internet for hours when I've hundreds of untouched comics and a let-down Bible (oh, the promises I've made).
Buying video games whilst holding back on spending for others.
Hearing of a kind-hearted human's death and working like I heard not a thing.
Promising the Lord everything and giving him close to nothing.

I just wish I could say I care and believe such words coming from me.

I'm so clueless, so apathetic, I don't want to sleep in fear that I'm going to repeat the cycle.
It'd be safer if I remained here, staring at organized illumination; braindead in action, only as safe as the workings of my mind are in apathetic lobotomy.

Yet, I will always press on.
My blessed curse, my pain-inflicting self-defense.

All I want is complete empathy,
In what I do,
In what I see.


The only time I make an impact on my theologically skeptical friend and I don't even use an objective argument. Sometimes clear-minded passion makes sense, I guess.


Instructions on How to Listen to: "Seeking an End (to the Indefinite)"

Here's a list of things you can do to enhance your experience listening to this song:

  • Turn off the lights or close your eyes.
  • Anticipate rain.
  • Hold your breath for every chord that rings alone.
  • Hold your words in silence for a while after the song has ended.
  • Analyze the art.
  • See the world in still frames.
  • Refuse your environment your attention if it takes you away from this.
  • Wonder and contemplate.


Every Action

every word i sing
must not be intelligible
for if it were
this tree would be ripped from this
earth by the tornado
of judgement that is you

every action that i take
is a slow moving trainwreck
and every action that i fake
is a slow moving trainwreck
reaching out for an artichoke comprised of helium
ever fleeting

Breaking Bad Season 4 Episode 7 - Problem Dog - 34ish min in
Conversation between 12 Steps guy and Jesse during a meeting about Judging and beating yourself up.

and i can't let go of your memory
and i can't let go


Repentance comes in the days without thunder or sun or sleep or peace.
It comes when the rush overtakes, you grit in regret and go to bed.


Worth and Waste

I'm the penny pincher of time, 
But once pain's paid 50 cents I feel the insatiable urge to get some gum.
At that point it's twice the vice.

I take hours to free up minutes that are spent with Repentance Credit.
The Bank of Forgiveness always replenishes, but I fail to feel the pain I know I deal.