Life is so Weird

It's amazing how I've noticed myself acting these days.
Recording complete strangers and ignoring my long-time musical friends.
Using the internet for hours when I've hundreds of untouched comics and a let-down Bible (oh, the promises I've made).
Buying video games whilst holding back on spending for others.
Hearing of a kind-hearted human's death and working like I heard not a thing.
Promising the Lord everything and giving him close to nothing.

I just wish I could say I care and believe such words coming from me.

I'm so clueless, so apathetic, I don't want to sleep in fear that I'm going to repeat the cycle.
It'd be safer if I remained here, staring at organized illumination; braindead in action, only as safe as the workings of my mind are in apathetic lobotomy.

Yet, I will always press on.
My blessed curse, my pain-inflicting self-defense.

All I want is complete empathy,
In what I do,
In what I see.

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