7/28/12

The Word says not to let the Sun go down on your anger.

What of sadness?

7/19/12

The Paradox of Paranoia Induced Pursuit (Consumed)

The dots on the wall become bugs; crawl.Your second skin implores you to buy in.
Allow the separation of sanity to fall,
Like the rain of grace, with razors instead of peace.
The vociferous outward expression;
Expulsion of your need for relief will win within.
A point of ridicule, that trivial, embarrassing decision

Will give you everything.

Yet there will always be a hunger for the increase of heart beats,
A thirst for shakiness in your breathing,
Lust to scream in all of your thinking,
Demonic desire residing on your closed eyes and in the corners of glass and light-less seeing.

Only when they chase have they preyed.

7/13/12

Life is so Weird

It's amazing how I've noticed myself acting these days.
Recording complete strangers and ignoring my long-time musical friends.
Using the internet for hours when I've hundreds of untouched comics and a let-down Bible (oh, the promises I've made).
Buying video games whilst holding back on spending for others.
Hearing of a kind-hearted human's death and working like I heard not a thing.
Promising the Lord everything and giving him close to nothing.

I just wish I could say I care and believe such words coming from me.

I'm so clueless, so apathetic, I don't want to sleep in fear that I'm going to repeat the cycle.
It'd be safer if I remained here, staring at organized illumination; braindead in action, only as safe as the workings of my mind are in apathetic lobotomy.

Yet, I will always press on.
My blessed curse, my pain-inflicting self-defense.

All I want is complete empathy,
In what I do,
In what I see.

7/8/12

The only time I make an impact on my theologically skeptical friend and I don't even use an objective argument. Sometimes clear-minded passion makes sense, I guess.

7/7/12

Instructions on How to Listen to: "Seeking an End (to the Indefinite)"

Here's a list of things you can do to enhance your experience listening to this song:




  • Turn off the lights or close your eyes.
  • Anticipate rain.
  • Hold your breath for every chord that rings alone.
  • Hold your words in silence for a while after the song has ended.
  • Analyze the art.
  • See the world in still frames.
  • Refuse your environment your attention if it takes you away from this.
  • Wonder and contemplate.

7/6/12

Every Action




every word i sing
must not be intelligible
for if it were
this tree would be ripped from this
earth by the tornado
of judgement that is you

every action that i take
is a slow moving trainwreck
and every action that i fake
is a slow moving trainwreck
reaching out for an artichoke comprised of helium
ever fleeting

Breaking Bad Season 4 Episode 7 - Problem Dog - 34ish min in
Conversation between 12 Steps guy and Jesse during a meeting about Judging and beating yourself up.

and i can't let go of your memory
and i can't let go

7/2/12

Repentance comes in the days without thunder or sun or sleep or peace.
It comes when the rush overtakes, you grit in regret and go to bed.

7/1/12

Worth and Waste

I'm the penny pincher of time, 
But once pain's paid 50 cents I feel the insatiable urge to get some gum.
At that point it's twice the vice.

I take hours to free up minutes that are spent with Repentance Credit.
The Bank of Forgiveness always replenishes, but I fail to feel the pain I know I deal.

Followers