1/31/2013 I have been tasked with the following goals to have been achieved by the end of the day.

  • Make 149 CD cases using a time-consuming 5-step process
  • Finalize the design for said CD cases.
  • Clock at least an hour & a half of practice in.
  • Organize a pitch to sum up a video game project 2 & 1/2 months in the making, covering what has been developed, short-term, & long-term future goals.
  • Engage in a 2-hour meeting.
  • Contact consumers in need of presale tickets for the show on Saturday and deliver said tickets.
  • Watch a philosphical movie (those are long!)
  • Begin the writing process for a song that must be written by 2/1/13
  • Guarantee the remainder of presale tickets I have will be sold by 2/2/13
Why the heck am I typing all this out?



This music represents the rhythm of our hearts.
We will beat on our chests and plead with our art,
"Seek freedom in sincerity;
Hold nothing but truth in a world scavenging for and stealing scattered minds."


Our World

Constant analyzing of one's life can be tiring and hard and bad when you realize how terrible you are and how the world is, simply because humanity is so selfish and messed up.

However, I've always thought it wise to seek places of change and a reversal to this degeneration of goodness, because they exist and have practical applications at least on the level of the individual. 
It only takes one spark to start a fire.
(Wow, my writing's gotten cliche.)

I made a realization that connects every frustration I've had as a child until this very day, and it is rooted in both selfishness and selflessness, or a state which combines/rebukes both.
I know that makes hardly any sense, but that's because I'm still trying to figure it out myself.

The epiphany was this:
I played a lot of video games growing up.
While I had friends, I definitely spent majority of my time enveloped in not only playing games, but becoming involved in the universes they were built upon.
I've spent literally hundreds of hours on Super Smash Bros. Melee, and some of the most memorable of those hours I was reading up on the trophies which portrayed a general overview of whatever character/world/item the trophy featured.
The backstories and details that went into these characters enthralled me, I became so entranced with these things I know more about the Zelda series than the average guy, and I've never even played more than 4 hours of any single game in the series! All from those trophies.
The Pokemon series (I stopped after the 3rd gen.), Metroid Prime, Sonic the Hedgehog, for as much time as I have played any of these games I've at least matched half of that play time with reading about the characters, the creatures, the cultures...

"Get to readin'!"

Yet I never felt fully satisfied digging deep into any of these games.
I always wished for someone else to care as much as I did about these things.
Whether they joined me on the adventure for total knowledge of a given fictional universe or just talked to me about them, I wanted someone else to care.
I think this is a big reason why kids like people to watch them play games, not because they're trying to show -off (although that may definitely be part of it), but because they love the world on the screen and want you to understand that love.

"Search for 'beautiful video game'; get this a lot."

This is apparent in games themselves; not only is there at least one person working tirelessly to create a beautiful, believable backstory or lore, but game design in general is geared toward communication with the player on some level of depth.
For example, the Sims is built around the concept of "People are pretty cool, why don't you make them and understand all the different ways they're neat?", or Minecraft saying, "There are so many things to do in the world, here's an easy-to-grasp way for you to appreciate that." or even games like Super Meat Boy saying "Life is relentlessly against you, but if you put your mind to it and try hard enough, you can overcome."

"You got this!"

I think what I always wanted as a kid was not for someone to appreciate me or necessarily the things that I found interesting, but rather that we could appreciate something on a universal place of understanding and be a part of it.
Even now I write my heart out in my public journal and play my heart out in my music, but it's mostly for the sake of showing people there can be joy in unity.
Everything I  want in my heart, beyond my carnal desires, (but sometimes linked to them) is a layered cry for unity.

I grow tired of living in a society built upon what seems like numerous, ever-changing, always contradictory multiverses, when we all abide by universal truths such as gravity or the need of food to survive.

I strive to join you in a collective search for the truth in our universe, by which we all are bound to.


Only Deserts

I crave the summer
Yet this running water is freezing to encase me.


I don't really know what to say, but I felt it was worth saying:

Feeling much less bitter and stressed than when I last posted, I think I can put some clarity here, the O' ever patiently listening Public Diary.
I think my parting with friends is more natural than what has been perceived.
Ways and paths part as destinations differ, and while I long for the same companionship of the glory trails of old, we all listen to our call and respond as best as we know.
And I cannot rightly blame you or I for being ignorant at any point in time, so long as it is outside of the realm of choice to lack a piece of potential knowledge.
I hope and pray for things to progress in a way that loves and glorifies and serves and defies the self in light of truth and goodness.


I Don't Want to Sleep Anymore

Quite the opposite of how I've felt at many critical points in my life, and it can be taken in so many ways.

I don't want to lose a moment of potential experience or progress to a void of what-could-have-been.
I don't want to drift and fade into idle being.
I want to be.
I don't want to sleep knowing I've averted my eyes from what I truly am, what I truly do.