5/1/13

Focus Center Focus

I can remember starting the tentatively titled "Musica" project as a part-time endeavor as early back as October of last year. While the idea turned up over a year-and-a-half ago, it was October that I felt dedicated to the idea of becoming a video game designer.
Since the initial birth of the idea, which was a plain combination of Proteus and inbflat.net, it has evolved from a abstract audio/visual sequencer to a casual interactive environment to a full-blown adventure game... and now to something being continually refined day after day.

I watched Indie Game: The Movie and was deeply inspired at my capabilities to design something really meaningful and enjoyable, with hopes of a lot of people playing it.
Finishing my 1st year up in community college got me yearning for greater things. School wasn't enabling me to be a better designer, writer, or musician, and those are simply the things I am passionate about doing. My parents, even to this day, have been claiming support, but still, as they should, show deep concern for my future in financial security.
I just can't help but disagree with them when it comes to traditional education when I seek a life that is entirely unorthodox.

Thus far, the financially concerned mindset has proved to be a deceitful and destructive perspective to my art and myself. I became overtly concerned with "how do I maximize my audience and convince them to give me money, but not too much money because I don't want to do this for money, but I need money and if I have to get it all by working at Hastings I'll never be happy with my life".


Then I start getting fake notifications on my music pages that look like that, and I am further disgusted with the business aspects I keep trying to tie into my art.
It's ploys such as this that brainwash me into thinking that my marketing is more important that my art, and further that if I don't take action it'll fade into obscurity.



All this anxiety and confusion coming from a guy who just decided it would be a good idea to live by "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness (referring to GOD), and all these things will be given to you as well (referring to IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE)."

I think the first step is to reply to the inquisitors of my future with this particular quote (from JESUS).
We'll see how it goes from there.

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