Honesty & Narcissism

Gotta work soon, but I gotta express what's on my chest.

I met Erik (of Self Proclaimed Narcissist) a while back booking him for a show in Spokane. What he didn't know is that I was a stupidly huge fan. What I didn't know is that he was totally all about that, and what we both didn't know is that it would make us, in my opinion, pretty good pals.

Now, usually when I'm a fan of someone's music and get all "Your music changed my life" on them, they get all rockstarry, say something like "glad I could help", then go to sign some pretty girl's CD. Erik, however much he might enjoy attention like every other person on the planet, myself included, never gave me such an air about him, he's always been fairly transparent, and after he released his album Honesty Folk/I heard his song "Van Gogh" did I realize it's something he's about. I'm very much about being a sincere artist, as well as a sincere person, and around the time I met him I really started to make that a part of who I am, so naturally I mixed well with him.

Since that night I booked him and we hung out and became friends, my life had become completely changed. He introduced me to Kevin Schlereth, who after he and Erik drove literally half the country to play a show and hang out with us, got to be my friend after staying up all night talking and laughing with 4 of my other friends in a 5 seater Saturn SW (That's six of us total in that tiny car). After that I played a show with Destroy Nate Allen after talking to them on the internet for some time (they're close with Kevin and Erik), and inbetween all that I got to review all their newest albums as a journalist on Indievisionmusic.com.

My life got real crazy real fast. I thought I was going to be touring with these people and having my lifestyle slowly be absorbed by theirs. Things are a bit different now that 2012 is over, I've gotten to hang with Erik twice already this year and it's been awesome, but the band thing is, to be honest, starting to die out in my life. Booking is more stressful and my bandmates just don't show the commitment these days. I'm not sure.

But that doesn't mean things can't change (they can change, but they won't), everything that's happened in the past year I never ever expected for a second. I am so incredibly thankful for the occasional phone call I get from Erik when I feel like all my friends have changed or forgotten me, who has a hard time with change. It's neat having a friend that you don't get to see much, because you always miss them and every reunion or communication is exciting and inspiring. Granted, I don't invest a lot of time into relationships these days as I try and invest time in myself so I can be a better friend later on (as opposed to a mediocre friend always), the internet makes me feel like there's never an excuse to not strike up a conversation with everyone I lose contact with for a week or two, but in truth if I can't talk to you on the phone for over half an hour or find the motivation to stay up all night with you doing whatever, I doubt there's a real friend connection there.

Here's to a year of friendship and realizing how much you've helped me grow, Erik.
Even if our lives go different paths, I forget all your lyrics, you never throw me on a tour; I just want to appreciate the friends we've been and where we are now.

I hope it lasts forever, but if it doesn't it's whatever.

Write that line in for your next album ;)

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