I want my money back

I'm becoming convinced that I perceive humans not as who they are at any one point in time, but rather seperate entities based on their desires, motivators, actions, and direct communications. These are all similar, related traits/categories that are truly independent. Though one can affect another, they can all operate separate from one another.

It's from these things that I see in people I construct who people are, what they want to be, and what they should be. I take every single person I build a relationship with as the person they could/should be. Of course, it's entirely arrogant to say who another person "should" be, but I guess I should reconstruct that to say that I see the spiritual potential in people to positively influence others spiritually around them.

This is why it is not difficult for me to be friendly, to give people chances, to forgive them, and invest time into them.

But I have been thrown into so many situations where I must take the "person" someone is becoming and accept them as true over what that "person" should be. This keeps me from being used and betrayed. I am generally vulnerable to compromise quickly, to give in to demands, to bend under pressure, to give in to aggressive control.

I am broken and manipulated like nothing is truly here.

But I've been planning and encouraging myself to refuse giving in to the demands of those who've neglected my love and stolen my sincerity. For once, maybe the person I should be will show up.

I don't want the people who don't seek their best form in life. I don't want them in my life anymore. You are bringing me down and ruining me. Change or leave, please.

I'm not even asking for change you don't already desire, I'm asking you to own up to a person that already exists and put to death attitudes that inhibit your true potential. If you are not seeking the best, the truth, you are wasting away.


  1. You should fall in love with who a person is.

  2. Kind of underminds everything I just said.

  3. Besides, I'm already in love with someone pretty awesome.